Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Tips for a Long Distance Relationship

Since I haven't done a post recently on LDRs (Long Distance Relationships), I figured I'd give a few tips on how to deal.

Tip 1:
Be patient.
Seriously, this is so important. With Jeremiah & I- there is a time difference of about three hours. 
So when I'm ready for bed, he's just winding his day down & can talk.
Don't expect your other half to drop everything to make time for you.
Sometimes Jeremiah & I go a few days without getting to have an actual phone call. We text throughout the day but it's a lot harder to make time to call or FaceTime.
Be patient & you'll get that quality time you need with each other. It might not happen every single day, but you'll get that time worked in there somehow.

Tip 2:
Be available.
Normally, my schedule isn't as packed as Jeremiah's- this allows me to be more available to him.
When he says he can call or FaceTime, I try my best to be able to at that time also.
If that means putting off eating dinner with my family for twenty minutes or being a little late for a hair appointment, I make it happen. I know it's hard for him to find time & when he does, I make sure I'm there.

Tip 3:
I cannot stress how important this is. Not once did I ever worry that Jeremiah would find someone else or make a bad decision regarding our relationship. I trust & care for him & I know he feels the same way about me. Being able to trust someone in this type of relationship is what makes it work. You have to know that it's going to work- Jeremiah & I never doubted that we couldn't do this.

Tip 4:
Show you care.
Even if it means sending a cute good morning text or even a card via snail mail- it will mean so much to the other. I know it makes me so happy when Jeremiah sends me a cute card & I'm not expecting it. So I know when I do the same for him, he also appreciates it.

Tip 5:
Find a common ground.
For Jeremiah & I this was watching a movie/tv show together once or twice a week. I'd wait until he got all his homework done (yes, this meant staying up way late) & we would watch something together. We'd set a time to start the show & then text throughout it. (Jeremiah had 2 roommates so it was really awkward to FaceTime when they were there- so we normally ended up texting.) I looked forward to this & so did Jeremiah. It was a way for us to do something together, even though we were over 2,000 miles apart.

Tip 6:
Have a countdown.
On my iPhone I have the Big Day Lite Countdown app. I set it to notify me every few weeks of how long it is until Jeremiah returns. This gives me something to look forward to! When I'm feeling down, I just look at my little countdown & think oh wow! it's so much sooner than I thought! 

Tip 7:
If at all possible, visit each other.
When Jeremiah first left in August of 2013, I didn't get a chance to visit him. Which meant I didn't see him until December (almost four months later). That was really hard. But when he went back in January, I got to visit him in March for Spring Break. We only had a week together & it was hard to say goodbye, but I valued that time so much. It was a great way to break-up the time of him being gone. Do whatever you have got to do to meet up, even if it's somewhere in the middle- you won't regret it.

Tip 8:
Jeremiah has no idea how much I love getting pictures from him! Even if they aren't of him, I love to see his school (I've never actually been on his campus), & what's going on around him. Feel like you're having a good hair day? Take a quick selfie & tell him! Jeremiah & I don't do social media or Snap Chat, so the only way we get to see pictures of each other is when we send them! It's a fun & cute way to "see" each other.

Tip 9:
Jeremiah & I both have a strong Christian faith, which plays a large roll in our relationship. I love talking to him about our church sermon, or how God spoke to me that day. I also love to hear what he got from his message at school (he attends church on campus several days a week). Include God in your relationship & it's sure to go a lot smoother. 

Tip 10:
A keepsake.
Find a couple of things that both of you like, they can be individualized, matching, or however you think it will work for you. The important thing is to have that special something that reminds you of your other half.
Before Jeremiah left last year, I bought a small heart cross that had a smaller cross that fit inside of it.
Before Jeremiah left I let him pick which he'd prefer (he chose the smaller cross) & he carries it in his wallet, which is where I also keep mine. It's a small memento of each other, that reminds us what it means to us, each time we see it. 
Jeremiah also rotates a few of his t-shirts around to me. I mostly use them for sleep shirts & things, I love getting them because they smell like him! Jeremiah has always liked my socks (they are pretty darn cool, they've got some great patterns). So every once in a while I'll get a clean pair, spray my perfume on them & mail them to him. So yes, my boyfriend does wear girl socks & they look really good on him, too! 
This is what I carry in my wallet- Jeremiah's cross fits inside of mine.

Tip 11:
Pick your battles.
I'm not going to say that I don't get mad at Jeremiah sometimes. Since he's left however, I've learned to pick my battles wisely. The little things that irritated me are forgotten when I get to talk to him. When your actual phone time or FaceTime is few & far between, you learn that you don't want to waste your time arguing. It's really taught me to anger less quickly & to not anger quite as often. You'll regret spending your time arguing about something that doesn't even matter when your time to talk is up.
Trust me.

I know this is an odd number of tips, but that eleventh one hit me at the last minute & I thought it was important. 
It's the little things that keep these types of relationships going. Always remember it's not a permanent thing & you'll work through it. 
Stay positive, have faith & it will all work out.

1 comment:

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